A place for me to expand into a regular writer in the most obnoxiously modern way I know how.
Saturday, January 6, 2024
Friday, January 5, 2024
thinking of ways to say fuck it
but also screaming Oooohh noo
pUBLISHED JANUARY 5TH 2024
feeling like i can be loud but being so afraid someone will tell me to be quiet
deep breaths
i feel something big.
i want something else.
i need to be heard.
how scary it can feel if someone says hey! you!! be Q UIET! HMPH! ={
WELL RIGHT NOW I NEED TO BE HEARD!
Hi Everyone [COPIED POST FROM DIFFERENT PERSONAL BLOG]
(published March 23rd 2023, edited January 5th, 2024)
i guess i can just add onto this one sentence and make it run forever, but i probably won't.
it's been a long day (january 5th, 2024) and im feeling lonely in my skin, broken from within and shaken down to my very box spsrings that i curl up into and die a little each day
but everyone dies like, a little bit sometimes like its always the end of the world the sky is falling
move on!!!! get better. it's exahusting trying to keep up with you. why are you always so tired?
GTLD (2015)
(let's just pretend like i didn't royally fuck up, okay? okay)
Published March 23rd, 2015
Today I traveled into the street.
I fell. For the first time in like 9 months. And it wasn't just a quick stumble into a quick recovery. No no, it was a like
Published March 23rd, 2015
Today I traveled into the street.
I fell. For the first time in like 9 months. And it wasn't just a quick stumble into a quick recovery. No no, it was a like
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
WWW: not (2015)
Guess who already fucked up their schedule?
Published January 7th, 2015
This one.
I forgot to dress cute today so this WWW wouldn't be very interesting. To make up for it, however, i'm going to update this post tomorrow/friday, with a lovely OOTD, and a nice pinterest tip.
But so as not to leave you without reading my lovely words: here's a cheeky Whine Wednesday.
Today I had to buy pads at the CVS in the mall, which is awful. No one wants to buy pads down the hall from where they work. No one. What made it worse was the CVS employee who kept staring me down as I walked through the aisle with my box, and stood behind the counter staring at me, but didn't ring me up. The fuck. dude.
Published January 7th, 2015
This one.
I forgot to dress cute today so this WWW wouldn't be very interesting. To make up for it, however, i'm going to update this post tomorrow/friday, with a lovely OOTD, and a nice pinterest tip.
But so as not to leave you without reading my lovely words: here's a cheeky Whine Wednesday.
Today I had to buy pads at the CVS in the mall, which is awful. No one wants to buy pads down the hall from where they work. No one. What made it worse was the CVS employee who kept staring me down as I walked through the aisle with my box, and stood behind the counter staring at me, but didn't ring me up. The fuck. dude.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Monday, January 5, 2015
Manic Monday #1 (2015)
Hola!
It's time for the very first Manic Monday, which is where I talk about something that's crazy awesome or just plain crazy that happened. It won't always be super recent, but I'll try to keep away from news headlines from the 70's.
This week's story:
Posted January 15, 2015
CW: Drunk Driving, Discussions of drunk drivers
It's time for the very first Manic Monday, which is where I talk about something that's crazy awesome or just plain crazy that happened. It won't always be super recent, but I'll try to keep away from news headlines from the 70's.
This week's story:
"Street-Sweeper DUI Suspect Leads Cops On 35 Mph Chase"
I have so many questions.
I'm not sure if this was a good story to start with but fuck it we're here now.
First off, where did this man get a street-sweeper? I assume that he works with whatever company controls the operation of street-sweepers, but I don't understand how someone would be able to get past their supervisor and behind the wheel of a street-sweeper. I don't know if you've ever been to a party, but in case you haven't let me fill you in on what happens when an inebriated person tries to get behind the wheel. Almost immediately, someone will stop them, and stand in the way between the intoxicated person and the car. After that, the keys are taken away. I've never been to a party where anyone has driven home after drinking more than they should have. I'm probably very lucky to be in that situation, and to not know anyone whose been personally affected by drunk driving.
First off, where did this man get a street-sweeper? I assume that he works with whatever company controls the operation of street-sweepers, but I don't understand how someone would be able to get past their supervisor and behind the wheel of a street-sweeper. I don't know if you've ever been to a party, but in case you haven't let me fill you in on what happens when an inebriated person tries to get behind the wheel. Almost immediately, someone will stop them, and stand in the way between the intoxicated person and the car. After that, the keys are taken away. I've never been to a party where anyone has driven home after drinking more than they should have. I'm probably very lucky to be in that situation, and to not know anyone whose been personally affected by drunk driving.
That being said: How do grown people, who've probably had a hefty drink or two in their day, not recognize a drunk person? Did Jerry Mitchell just stumble into work and get going to his job, without even a passing glance from his boss as to the fact that his feet were barely keeping him up? The police say that his blood level was allegedly "twice the legal limit," which implies that he was a little bit more that impaired. This dude was drunk, point blank. It's hard to not notice a drunk person, no matter where you or who you are. The article informs us that Mitchell was charged with "unlicensed operation on New Years Day" The fuck does that mean? Unlicensed as in he doesn't have the proper license to drive a street-sweeper, or unlicensed as in unauthorized use of a street-sweeper on a holiday?
I.. I don't even know how to move forward. What the fuck. What the heck. Really. This has stumped me. I have so many more questions, and this article has none of the answers. One of my rules for Manic Monday is that I will not Google anything about the story, and only work off of what the article says. I regret this rule so much.
I hope you enjoyed (all maybe two of you who are reading this). If you have anything to add or any stories for me to check out let me know in the comments below (that's a really common rhyme thats overlooked *fun fact*)
bye!
Schedule Time! (2015)
Allo!
Published January 5th, 2015
I fee like today is a good day to unveil my plans for this blog henceforth
Are you ready?
Because i am!!
Sundays are now Savory Sundays, where I'll be posting a recipe that I've tried out recently, as well as a review/inspiration for the food (I guess)
Mondays- Manic Mondays, which'll feature super interesting and hopefully inspirational stories from people doing super crazy exciting things (these people will probably never be me)
Tuesdays- Tunesdays *hahahahaha im sorry*
Wednesdays- What to Wear Wednesdays, including a lovely OOTD and a pinterest tip! maybe even a cheeky lil polyvore board
Thursdays- GTLD. I have no classes on Thursdays, so this is the prime time for GTL, Gym, Travel (I don't really need to tan much), and Laundry. I'll post various things depending on which one i decided to do that thursday, or mix and match posts including two or three!
Fridays- Flicks Friday. I absolutely loved that about Cartoon Network. A film every friday. Usually they'll be movies on netflix, because i'd like to have a bit of a flashback friday element as well, but if I end up going out I guess that'll work as well.
Saturdays- SATurdays/Shitshow Saturdays. Where I'll either make an attempt to be cerebral or just fuck up horribly.
Are you pumped?
I am
GET HYPED
2015 HERE WE GO
I fee like today is a good day to unveil my plans for this blog henceforth
Are you ready?
Because i am!!
Sundays are now Savory Sundays, where I'll be posting a recipe that I've tried out recently, as well as a review/inspiration for the food (I guess)
Mondays- Manic Mondays, which'll feature super interesting and hopefully inspirational stories from people doing super crazy exciting things (these people will probably never be me)
Tuesdays- Tunesdays *hahahahaha im sorry*
Wednesdays- What to Wear Wednesdays, including a lovely OOTD and a pinterest tip! maybe even a cheeky lil polyvore board
Thursdays- GTLD. I have no classes on Thursdays, so this is the prime time for GTL, Gym, Travel (I don't really need to tan much), and Laundry. I'll post various things depending on which one i decided to do that thursday, or mix and match posts including two or three!
Fridays- Flicks Friday. I absolutely loved that about Cartoon Network. A film every friday. Usually they'll be movies on netflix, because i'd like to have a bit of a flashback friday element as well, but if I end up going out I guess that'll work as well.
Saturdays- SATurdays/Shitshow Saturdays. Where I'll either make an attempt to be cerebral or just fuck up horribly.
Are you pumped?
I am
GET HYPED
2015 HERE WE GO
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Happy New Year! (2015)
Hello!
Published December 31st, 2014
It's been so long since i've posted on here
Sucks that i've already kind of broken down on my "post per day" promise, but thats what the New Year is all about right?? Finding new things to inspire you and push you to being your best self. I'm all about it. Which is why im announcing that i'm going to be trying a new way of blogging.
i hope the world is treating all of y'all well, and that positive energy is ever present in your life!
<3
bye
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Fact of the Day
published october 12th, 2014
bye
Saturday, October 11, 2014
I haven't gone to sleep yet..
Which means that this post isn't late!
(Published October 12th, 2014)
I've been having some trouble sleeping lately.
Trouble in the sense that I woke up at 4 in the afternoon today.
I have no clue how i'm going to get through college, but hopefully I won't have too many early morning classes.
Now i'm going to try and pull an all-nighter so that i can get my sleep schedule back on track to some degree.. wish me luck
bye
I've been having some trouble sleeping lately.
Trouble in the sense that I woke up at 4 in the afternoon today.
I have no clue how i'm going to get through college, but hopefully I won't have too many early morning classes.
Now i'm going to try and pull an all-nighter so that i can get my sleep schedule back on track to some degree.. wish me luck
bye
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Today I turned 18
And i'm damn proud of the fact that it's my 10th post on the 10th day of the 10th month.
Published October 10th, 2014
i'm gonna give myself a high five for that one when i'm done typing.
Anyway, now that i'm a full-grown adult, i've decided that it's time to start taking matters into my own hands.
AKA: I'm gonna pull my shit together. Starting with this blog.
I'm gonna write every goddamned day, because that's what writers do. They write. They don't marathon tv shows while eating ramen noodles (their one meal of the day)! They do that AND they write!! So that's what i'm gonna fuckin do!
New post! Everyday! No matter what!
Now, this may very well mean that i'm going to write about some really shitty things, but you know how it goes.
And i'm saying you, because this person reading right now is either:
A) Someone who is trying to find their friends blog and isn't 100% sure if this is them so they're gonna read a few posts to see
B) Someone who actually gives a rats ass about what I have to say and chose to read this with no ulterior motives
or
C) Myself, like 2 years from now, trying to figure out why i made the dumbass promise to write every day.
But that's it
that's what i'm gonna do
so suck it me from the future
suck it hard
(LMAO)
bye
i'm gonna give myself a high five for that one when i'm done typing.
Anyway, now that i'm a full-grown adult, i've decided that it's time to start taking matters into my own hands.
AKA: I'm gonna pull my shit together. Starting with this blog.
I'm gonna write every goddamned day, because that's what writers do. They write. They don't marathon tv shows while eating ramen noodles (their one meal of the day)! They do that AND they write!! So that's what i'm gonna fuckin do!
New post! Everyday! No matter what!
Now, this may very well mean that i'm going to write about some really shitty things, but you know how it goes.
And i'm saying you, because this person reading right now is either:
A) Someone who is trying to find their friends blog and isn't 100% sure if this is them so they're gonna read a few posts to see
B) Someone who actually gives a rats ass about what I have to say and chose to read this with no ulterior motives
or
C) Myself, like 2 years from now, trying to figure out why i made the dumbass promise to write every day.
But that's it
that's what i'm gonna do
so suck it me from the future
suck it hard
(LMAO)
bye
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Wow
Published September 30th, 2014
I feel awful saying/typing that but I can't lie it was pretty rough
more on this later probably
Friday, September 19, 2014
It's 2:48 am
And I can't get to sleep for the life of me.
Published September 20th, 2014
I dont know what it is, but I possess the completely useless ability to pull all-nighters like nobody's business, and still function the next day.
This of course has fucked me over in more ways than I can remember, but I guess that's just how it works.
I don't even do aything productive, which is something I can't wait to remedy in college.
I'm gonna go do some online shopping or some shit..
Bye
Kara(sa)
I dont know what it is, but I possess the completely useless ability to pull all-nighters like nobody's business, and still function the next day.
This of course has fucked me over in more ways than I can remember, but I guess that's just how it works.
I don't even do aything productive, which is something I can't wait to remedy in college.
I'm gonna go do some online shopping or some shit..
Bye
Kara(sa)
Monday, September 8, 2014
SHOUT OUT TO FIUCKING STUDENTLOANS.GOV
Published September 8th, 2014
I JUST LOVE GETTING MOUTH FUCKED BY THE SHITTY GOVERNMENT SITES
GREAT
FANFUCKINGTASTIC
WOW
GODBLESS AMERICA AND THEIR FUCKIN 90'S RETRO SHITTY GODDAMNED LOGO
*i swear this post is going to be taken down for cyberterrorism and i'm never gonna get federal loans and neither are my kids but jesusfuckingjetskiingchrist
Saturday, September 6, 2014
"Better Late than Never"- My new friend Dave
5:39 Train from South Norwalk. 25 minutes late.
Published September 6th, 2014
I had met Dave, and all of his other friends for that matter, on a bench inside the South Norwalk station. As per usual, my phone had died at the exact moment that I had something more important to do than snapchat the speed of the train to my friends. Dave and his friends were pregaming in a little circle, but were happy to let me in. in order to have access to the outlet behind their cooler. Now Dave considers himself to be a "man of all trades." He's an actor (look out for him in a Wendy's commercial soon), and a skydiver. He's thinking of becoming a cop, and writing a book about his life.
But the most important thing to remember about Dave is that he's a grade A douchebag. Like, think of the douchebag stereotype (A common example is "that guy with long hair who plays his guitar underneath a tree on campus and wears jeans with no shoes outside"). Now take that stereotype, put it in a black v-neck, and douse it in enough Old Spice to sedate a Bengal Tiger, and that's Dave.
He was nice enough, and offered me some drinks for the wait, He asked me about what I did, and replied to all of my responses with the phrase "Wicked cool," and some vague connection to True Detective. [Note: every time he mentioned True Detective, he turned to the rest of the group, and said, "Now I know most of you probably haven't heard of it, and I know it can go over your head sometimes but it's aahhmazing." every. time.] Then he started asking me about hookup stories, and I informed him that I didn't have many. because I had a boyfriend, He deflated, and rebuttled with "Yeah, I'd have a girlfriend if it weren't so.. committal. Like, if I wanna be a cop, I can't put someone through that stress. That's a pretty main point in True Detective." He then proceeded to regal us with the tale of how he convinced a married woman to sleep with him, after her husband cheated on her with [Dave's] sloppy seconds.
Needless to say, Dave was more proud of himself than anyone I'd ever seen. I don't even think his grandmother could brag more about her grandson. Which, I suppose, isn't a bad thing. Unless the thing that your proud of is the fact that you like True Detective more than your friends.
I doubt I'll ever see him again, so here's to you Dave. For showing me what too much pride can look like, and for convincing me to give True Detective a try.
Now, I know most of you probably haven't heard of it, and I know it can go over your head sometimes but it's aahhmazing.
byebye
Another Installment of "Better Late than Never"
hello all!!
so as you can see, I'm back to write another installment of my ongoing series, "Better Late than Never: The stories behind my train delays"
Now you may be saying to your computer screen or mobile device: "Hey, Kara, you've never written about this series before! you have 3 other posts and none of them even mention trains!!" And I say to you, my beloved reader: shut the hell up and let me explain.
A few months ago, I had planned to go visit my dad for the weekend. Everything was planned out to the last second, with no room for error. I got off of work at 6:00, and I planned on catching a 6:47 train. This meant that I had to drive home, shit, shower, change and pack all of my belongings for the week, by at least 6:40, so that I would have enough time to walk to the train station and buy a ticket on the platform.
I made it out of my house at around 6;45, and sprinted like I was the first one to the finish ribbon at the end of the marathon. I all but shoved every other patron aside to make my way to the ticket machine, where I mindlessly typed in all of the information, my eyes glued to the far end of the platform, searching for any sign of a train. I crossed over, and with an obnoxious sigh of relief, I melted into a seat, not caring that my bags pooled into the three other available seats around me.
I waited for a little bit, and called my dad to warn him that the train was running a little late.
Twenty minutes later, a voice over the intercom informed me that the train i had assaulted a little old lady to catch, had been cancelled. As well as all other trains after it.
This was the worst thing that could've happened. I wasn't even aware of the fact that trains still got cancelled until I heard this announcement. I couldn't call any of my family members for a few minutes, because all I wanted to do was curse out anyone from the MTA, or anyone who thought it was a quality service. But the silver lining to this shit-storm, was that I was not the only one who was losing their shit over this. No, it was me, and the 27 other people on the platform. For the first time in my life, I was apart of an angry mob, and proud of it.
One woman stood on a bench, and dared the MTA conductors to "fuck wit us," because she was "too fucking mad to lose."
A man began taking names and emails down to set up a county wide carpool, in an attempt to run MTA out of business.
I threw in my two cents, and was greeted with applause when I reminded everyone that "We payed good money for this shit!!"
It was one of the best experiences of my life, because of one of the worst.
Now the sad thing is, that was all just a backstory. Now the real stories come from the dumb ass conversations and people that I'm forced to entertain, while we wait more minutes than expected on the train platform.
So look out for this! I think it's pretty cool. I hope you do too.
byebye
Published September 6th 2014
so as you can see, I'm back to write another installment of my ongoing series, "Better Late than Never: The stories behind my train delays"
Now you may be saying to your computer screen or mobile device: "Hey, Kara, you've never written about this series before! you have 3 other posts and none of them even mention trains!!" And I say to you, my beloved reader: shut the hell up and let me explain.
A few months ago, I had planned to go visit my dad for the weekend. Everything was planned out to the last second, with no room for error. I got off of work at 6:00, and I planned on catching a 6:47 train. This meant that I had to drive home, shit, shower, change and pack all of my belongings for the week, by at least 6:40, so that I would have enough time to walk to the train station and buy a ticket on the platform.
I made it out of my house at around 6;45, and sprinted like I was the first one to the finish ribbon at the end of the marathon. I all but shoved every other patron aside to make my way to the ticket machine, where I mindlessly typed in all of the information, my eyes glued to the far end of the platform, searching for any sign of a train. I crossed over, and with an obnoxious sigh of relief, I melted into a seat, not caring that my bags pooled into the three other available seats around me.
I waited for a little bit, and called my dad to warn him that the train was running a little late.
Twenty minutes later, a voice over the intercom informed me that the train i had assaulted a little old lady to catch, had been cancelled. As well as all other trains after it.
This was the worst thing that could've happened. I wasn't even aware of the fact that trains still got cancelled until I heard this announcement. I couldn't call any of my family members for a few minutes, because all I wanted to do was curse out anyone from the MTA, or anyone who thought it was a quality service. But the silver lining to this shit-storm, was that I was not the only one who was losing their shit over this. No, it was me, and the 27 other people on the platform. For the first time in my life, I was apart of an angry mob, and proud of it.
One woman stood on a bench, and dared the MTA conductors to "fuck wit us," because she was "too fucking mad to lose."
A man began taking names and emails down to set up a county wide carpool, in an attempt to run MTA out of business.
I threw in my two cents, and was greeted with applause when I reminded everyone that "We payed good money for this shit!!"
It was one of the best experiences of my life, because of one of the worst.
Now the sad thing is, that was all just a backstory. Now the real stories come from the dumb ass conversations and people that I'm forced to entertain, while we wait more minutes than expected on the train platform.
So look out for this! I think it's pretty cool. I hope you do too.
byebye
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
An Honest Review: Criminal Minds
Published September 3rd 2014
also: my opinions are my opinions. deal with it. if you have an issue, feel free to email me so that i can explain to you personally that i probably don't care about your opinions (if they're legitimate criticisms, i may [MAY] accept them).
Criminal Minds is toxic. it is one of the worst things that could be streaming on netflix right now. 210 episodes of pure gore and disaster, paired with irrational female characters and downright despicable male characters. I. Love. This. Show.
I have no idea what draws me in so much. Maybe its the idea of evil being brought to justice. Maybe its Garcia's computer talk. Maybe its because i feel 100% better after watching every episode because no matter how bad i get, i'll never be bad enough to kidnap and kill babies and send their arms back to their families.
I hope that other people share my sentiment/obsession, because it's gotten to the point where I've started warning my boyfriend about going out into certain places when there are 30-something year old white males, because those are the men who are most likely to kidnap/kill people our age.
either way, that's basically what's been keeping me away from da blawg
everytime i open up the internet, i go straight to netflix and forget about everything else that was supposed to be important to me. oops.
also it's a bitch to sign in to this shit so sometimes i'm just like fuck it bye felecia
Thursday, August 28, 2014
The Story Behind the URL
Published August 28th, 2014
Now this is the first time that i've tried to explain a blog title, and let me tell you: it is not easy.
all of my other blog titles are puns, or self explanatory (shameless self-promotion coming up, proceed with caution)
theres
african american apparel
hi my name is kara
itskarasa.com
and k-sleazy
you can probably understand why all off these came to fruition, and if not, you don't really need to know, so don't worry about it.
Basically, it all started with an article. This article, is quite possibly, one of my favorites of all time. It's written by Molly Crabapple, who is a winner in and of herself with that name alone.
the article i'm referring to is this one: http://www.vice.com/read/we-must-risk-delight-after-a-summer-full-of-monsters
i'm not gonna link that so you'd better deal with copying and pasting
In the article, Molly explains that the world is a shithole in the most beautiful words imaginable. I'm all about it. I've never read an article that articulates all of the recent wrongdoings of mankind in such kind and poetic words. She, which is the case for many writers of VICE articles, is amazing. I literally fell in love. I wanted to pay this woman for letting me read her article, because if i have to pay for stephanie meyer's garbage writing, then i would damn sure be okay with paying for this. (Note: i don't care if you are a fan of twilight. I was too when i was 12. But looking back, the books were just straight up written poorly.
Now because of Molly's article, I felt inspired. I felt like I had to work to find joy in the world, to help Molly reach her goal of survival in this horribly unfair world. I posted the article on Facebook, and began to draft a strategy on how to make my life a lil better. I started reading all of the articles I found interesting on vice, and listening to the New Pornographers new album, to get me in the mood of improving my self worth.
after 15 minutes had past, i found myself switching between fourteen different tabs, struggling to find the content that i found so compelling just moments before. I decided to knuckle down and focus, and deleted the majority of the tabs, save for the articles i was reading, a page about a new app i was buying, and Facebook. I switched over to Facebook to figure out what was so important on the page that i had to keep it open, but i couldn't find it. delete.
2 minutes later, i open a new tab, and go to facebook.
I couldn't figure out why i was so insistent on having facebook open, and then it hit me.
the world.
that dumb fucking world that signifies notifications. That's the only thing keeping me grounded. As i scrolled through the various updates from the pages and friends that i had, i couldn't help but be disappointed with myself when i realized how little of a fuck i gave about all of them.
new photo! "Me and bae" 'like'
new status! "I think it's time for a new tattoo" 'like'
new link! "check out my long overdue ice bucket bikini challenge lol"
With every thing i scrolled past, my eyes strayed farther and farther away from the words, and towards the little world icon.
Sadly, there is nothing more exciting, and also more depressing, than getting a facebook notification. You can't deny the small flash of warmth you feel in your heart when someone likes your new profile picture or status. You also can't pretend like you don't get horribly annoyed when you think that the notification is from someone doing something nice for you, but it's instead a game request.
that's when i realized that i was horribly self absorbed. Because not only did I stopping looking at the home page of facebook, but instead i defaulted to my facebook profile. Every time I switched over, I got a glorious glimpse of my own face, and my own words.
And the reason I did this, was because I wanted people to acknowledge my status. I wanted someone to comment and say "you know she's right" so that I could comment back and be like "yeah, I felt so inspired, I'm gonna go write about it"
if that doesn't sound like the douchiest thing you've ever heard, then god bless your soul.
so the url pays homage to hopefully the lowest point in my life.
as for the title. That's a basic summary of everything i post on here. Who knows? Who cares.
bye
and k-sleazy
you can probably understand why all off these came to fruition, and if not, you don't really need to know, so don't worry about it.
Basically, it all started with an article. This article, is quite possibly, one of my favorites of all time. It's written by Molly Crabapple, who is a winner in and of herself with that name alone.
the article i'm referring to is this one: http://www.vice.com/read/we-must-risk-delight-after-a-summer-full-of-monsters
i'm not gonna link that so you'd better deal with copying and pasting
In the article, Molly explains that the world is a shithole in the most beautiful words imaginable. I'm all about it. I've never read an article that articulates all of the recent wrongdoings of mankind in such kind and poetic words. She, which is the case for many writers of VICE articles, is amazing. I literally fell in love. I wanted to pay this woman for letting me read her article, because if i have to pay for stephanie meyer's garbage writing, then i would damn sure be okay with paying for this. (Note: i don't care if you are a fan of twilight. I was too when i was 12. But looking back, the books were just straight up written poorly.
Now because of Molly's article, I felt inspired. I felt like I had to work to find joy in the world, to help Molly reach her goal of survival in this horribly unfair world. I posted the article on Facebook, and began to draft a strategy on how to make my life a lil better. I started reading all of the articles I found interesting on vice, and listening to the New Pornographers new album, to get me in the mood of improving my self worth.
after 15 minutes had past, i found myself switching between fourteen different tabs, struggling to find the content that i found so compelling just moments before. I decided to knuckle down and focus, and deleted the majority of the tabs, save for the articles i was reading, a page about a new app i was buying, and Facebook. I switched over to Facebook to figure out what was so important on the page that i had to keep it open, but i couldn't find it. delete.
2 minutes later, i open a new tab, and go to facebook.
I couldn't figure out why i was so insistent on having facebook open, and then it hit me.
the world.
that dumb fucking world that signifies notifications. That's the only thing keeping me grounded. As i scrolled through the various updates from the pages and friends that i had, i couldn't help but be disappointed with myself when i realized how little of a fuck i gave about all of them.
new photo! "Me and bae" 'like'
new status! "I think it's time for a new tattoo" 'like'
new link! "check out my long overdue ice bucket bikini challenge lol"
With every thing i scrolled past, my eyes strayed farther and farther away from the words, and towards the little world icon.
Sadly, there is nothing more exciting, and also more depressing, than getting a facebook notification. You can't deny the small flash of warmth you feel in your heart when someone likes your new profile picture or status. You also can't pretend like you don't get horribly annoyed when you think that the notification is from someone doing something nice for you, but it's instead a game request.
that's when i realized that i was horribly self absorbed. Because not only did I stopping looking at the home page of facebook, but instead i defaulted to my facebook profile. Every time I switched over, I got a glorious glimpse of my own face, and my own words.
And the reason I did this, was because I wanted people to acknowledge my status. I wanted someone to comment and say "you know she's right" so that I could comment back and be like "yeah, I felt so inspired, I'm gonna go write about it"
if that doesn't sound like the douchiest thing you've ever heard, then god bless your soul.
so the url pays homage to hopefully the lowest point in my life.
as for the title. That's a basic summary of everything i post on here. Who knows? Who cares.
bye
Introduction
Hello!
Published August 28th, 2014
As you have probably figured out, this is a blog. My blog, specifically. This is where i'm gonna be writing from now on. and not just cool, objective and introspective blog posts about my life and how i want the world to be, or awesome sonnets that i hope VICE discovers and puts on their front page. this is where i'm going to be writing from now on. period. that includes my dumbass posts when i'm drunk/high/tired enough to seem drunk/high. and its gonna get really deep into shit. personal shit. but not that deep because i feel like keeping it public will force myself to be vague but honest. if you're still reading, good on ya, here's a little about me:
As of right now, I'm currently living in my dad's house, after moving out/being kicked out of my mom's house. I'm a college freshman at BU, and I'm starting college in January. I want to be a storyboard developer for videogame franchises, which i've been told is the stupidest career path (thanks, mom). I am agender and asexual, if you really needed to know. I label myself as a democrat but i think i may be more ignorantly liberal than that. My birthdays in October and my favorite day is Thursday, because all of my randomly "fantastic" ideas tend to occur on Thursdays (ex; the first time i handcrafted a 3.5L G-bong, the day i created this blog)
I have a few fantastic people in my life that keep me grounded, as i tend to lose sight of actual fucking reality sometimes. That being said, sometimes I'm so optimistic it's dangerous. I've got my family, my boyfriend, my friends, and strangers. I absolutely adore strangers. It may seem really creepy, but it's really interesting to me how the littlest thing that someone you've never met can affect you in more ways than you'll ever know.
(An example: Dude A is running late to a meeting one morning. He grabs his coffee and pours it into the to-go cup, but doesn't really fasten the lid. As he's racing down I-95 trying to make it from exit 14 to exit 8 in record time, he lifts the coffee to his lips. Coffee spills, he panics and crashes, and now the highway is backed up for miles due to rubbernecking. 2 hours later you find yourself trying to merge into the left lane to try and get 10 feet farther a minute faster, and when you fail, you take matters into your own hands. Soon enough you're pulled over and given a ticket for driving in the shoulder. All because Dude A slept in after marathoning GoT.)
I don't expect many people to read this, so I won't waste time trying to be polite. I curse to get the point across, so if you don't like it, you can go read some other teenagers dumbass blog. I'll also write about tv/movies if i like them enough, so expect spoilers
I don't really know what else to say, and I have another blog post idea in my head right now so i can't really keep wasting time writing this.
also: i ramble quite often
bye
Published August 28th, 2014
As you have probably figured out, this is a blog. My blog, specifically. This is where i'm gonna be writing from now on. and not just cool, objective and introspective blog posts about my life and how i want the world to be, or awesome sonnets that i hope VICE discovers and puts on their front page. this is where i'm going to be writing from now on. period. that includes my dumbass posts when i'm drunk/high/tired enough to seem drunk/high. and its gonna get really deep into shit. personal shit. but not that deep because i feel like keeping it public will force myself to be vague but honest. if you're still reading, good on ya, here's a little about me:
As of right now, I'm currently living in my dad's house, after moving out/being kicked out of my mom's house. I'm a college freshman at BU, and I'm starting college in January. I want to be a storyboard developer for videogame franchises, which i've been told is the stupidest career path (thanks, mom). I am agender and asexual, if you really needed to know. I label myself as a democrat but i think i may be more ignorantly liberal than that. My birthdays in October and my favorite day is Thursday, because all of my randomly "fantastic" ideas tend to occur on Thursdays (ex; the first time i handcrafted a 3.5L G-bong, the day i created this blog)
I have a few fantastic people in my life that keep me grounded, as i tend to lose sight of actual fucking reality sometimes. That being said, sometimes I'm so optimistic it's dangerous. I've got my family, my boyfriend, my friends, and strangers. I absolutely adore strangers. It may seem really creepy, but it's really interesting to me how the littlest thing that someone you've never met can affect you in more ways than you'll ever know.
(An example: Dude A is running late to a meeting one morning. He grabs his coffee and pours it into the to-go cup, but doesn't really fasten the lid. As he's racing down I-95 trying to make it from exit 14 to exit 8 in record time, he lifts the coffee to his lips. Coffee spills, he panics and crashes, and now the highway is backed up for miles due to rubbernecking. 2 hours later you find yourself trying to merge into the left lane to try and get 10 feet farther a minute faster, and when you fail, you take matters into your own hands. Soon enough you're pulled over and given a ticket for driving in the shoulder. All because Dude A slept in after marathoning GoT.)
I don't expect many people to read this, so I won't waste time trying to be polite. I curse to get the point across, so if you don't like it, you can go read some other teenagers dumbass blog. I'll also write about tv/movies if i like them enough, so expect spoilers
I don't really know what else to say, and I have another blog post idea in my head right now so i can't really keep wasting time writing this.
also: i ramble quite often
bye