Published September 6th, 2014
I had met Dave, and all of his other friends for that matter, on a bench inside the South Norwalk station. As per usual, my phone had died at the exact moment that I had something more important to do than snapchat the speed of the train to my friends. Dave and his friends were pregaming in a little circle, but were happy to let me in. in order to have access to the outlet behind their cooler. Now Dave considers himself to be a "man of all trades." He's an actor (look out for him in a Wendy's commercial soon), and a skydiver. He's thinking of becoming a cop, and writing a book about his life.
But the most important thing to remember about Dave is that he's a grade A douchebag. Like, think of the douchebag stereotype (A common example is "that guy with long hair who plays his guitar underneath a tree on campus and wears jeans with no shoes outside"). Now take that stereotype, put it in a black v-neck, and douse it in enough Old Spice to sedate a Bengal Tiger, and that's Dave.
He was nice enough, and offered me some drinks for the wait, He asked me about what I did, and replied to all of my responses with the phrase "Wicked cool," and some vague connection to True Detective. [Note: every time he mentioned True Detective, he turned to the rest of the group, and said, "Now I know most of you probably haven't heard of it, and I know it can go over your head sometimes but it's aahhmazing." every. time.] Then he started asking me about hookup stories, and I informed him that I didn't have many. because I had a boyfriend, He deflated, and rebuttled with "Yeah, I'd have a girlfriend if it weren't so.. committal. Like, if I wanna be a cop, I can't put someone through that stress. That's a pretty main point in True Detective." He then proceeded to regal us with the tale of how he convinced a married woman to sleep with him, after her husband cheated on her with [Dave's] sloppy seconds.
Needless to say, Dave was more proud of himself than anyone I'd ever seen. I don't even think his grandmother could brag more about her grandson. Which, I suppose, isn't a bad thing. Unless the thing that your proud of is the fact that you like True Detective more than your friends.
I doubt I'll ever see him again, so here's to you Dave. For showing me what too much pride can look like, and for convincing me to give True Detective a try.
Now, I know most of you probably haven't heard of it, and I know it can go over your head sometimes but it's aahhmazing.
byebye
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